*If you don’t have the patience to read this whole post, watch the video at the end. It’s educational.

My college roommate’s name is Regis. Yes, like Regis and Kelly. There are always things to say about Regis because he’s a funny college dude. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and he’s riding a stolen bike into my room and crashing it into the dresser next to me. I then tell him my feelings about stolen bikes, having had mine stolen before, and he starts to feel guilt. He always returns his stolen bikes, which the victims probably owe to me. But at the end of the day, Regis is fun to have around. He’s an Engineering major who gets excited about going electrofishing with his class and I’m glad to have Regis as my roomate.

elec·tro·fish·ing uses electricity to stun fish before they are caught.Electrofishing is a common scientific survey method used to sample fish populations to determine abundance, density, and species composition. When performed correctly, electrofishing results in no permanent harm to fish, which return to their natural state in as little as 2 minutes after being stunned.

(Above: A picture of Regis being amused by some panties he found out in the hallway)

Well what does this have to do with Lamborghinis? (and I’m not talking about electrofishing) A few weeks ago Regis put a picture of a Lamborghini Gallardo as the desktop picture on his computer. He kept asking me, “How sick would it be to drive that car?” I told him it would be pretty cool, but lets be realistic. How do you end up driving one of those…

(Cody, my cousin driving my uncle’s Lambo)

…Well let me tell you. (And bare with me for a second) We have a tradition in my family that goes back several decades. We get together and make huge amounts of Italian sausage. My uncle hosted sausage making at his house this year the weekend after thanksgiving and we all went to visit and make sausage. My family is Italian, and that’s why we make Italian sausage- instead of Bratwurst, schnitzels, or anything like that. If we were Chinese we might make wontons. If we were Mexican, we might be making Chimichungas. But no, we are Italian. We make Italian sausage. That’s what we do.

(Testing the first round of sausage)

THE PROCESS OF MAKING SAUSAGE:

(Cut the pork shoulder - David showing good form in this shot)

(Add the right blending of seasonings - The elders executing this special task)

(A few more steps, and your cranking those puppies into casings. How many Camuts does it take to make a link of sausage?)

Guess what else happens to be Italian? That’s right, Lamborghinis. When we got to my uncles house, we simultaneously found out he had a Lamborghini. Maybe it has something to do with being Italian, I don’t know. I had no idea he owned a Lamborghini. It was a complete surprise to me. Of course, I hadn’t seen my uncle and his family for about five years.

While we (my family) were at my uncle’s house, he just so happened to let my brother and I take his Lamborghini out by ourselves. He had a lot of guts letting two young twenty-something-year-olds drive away in a Lamborghini. Nonetheless, it happened.

So let me tell you what its like to drive a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder…

(Minutes before we g0t on the highway)

…You get on the on-ramp of the highway and you pull out in front of cars that don’t quite know what’s happening. They see a flashy yellow car in front of them one moment, then the next moment its gone. And the next thing you know, you have gone from 30 mph to lightspeed faster than you can say, “Why the hell am I putting the pedal to the floor in a Lamborghini right now? Is this really happening? Cops? What?”

Your body doesn’t know what’s happening either, so it just pumps adrenaline through your veins. You just so happen to be in flight AND fight mode at the same time. I don’t know how that’s possible, but that’s what it feels like.

The 10 cylinder engine roars behind you and you realize there is a god.. somewhere up there in the sky… who put you in a Lamborghini on an open highway. This is either the thrill of your entire life, or its going to end tragically. Nobody knows.

So you merge back into the cruising lane to catch you breath and try realize what is actually happening. But no! You aren’t allowed to go slow. The cars ahead of you pull in the far right lane, and the highway opens up like Moses parted the Red Sea. That literally happened. Everyone ahead of me pulled the far right. Italian super-cars have super powers.. Its true.

Imagine if you were cruising down the highway and a Lamborghini was just nonchalantly cruising in traffic. You would be terribley disappointed. You owe it to everybody on the highway to roar past them like a jackass with a car that’s too fast for common sense. So by having no choice, you shift down a gear and put the pedal to the floor once again - just because you have to. VROOOOOOOM!!! (if that does justice) I can’t even explain the feeling you have when you are in that car flying down the highway. I wanted to scream, laugh, cry, urinate, and say “Mom look at me” - all at the same time. Awkward.. I know.

(The paparazzi caught a picture of me when I got out of the car)

At the end of the day, I could have easily came back dead, or with 5 new girlfriends, a heart attack, a speeding ticket, and a new reason for my life to be fulfilled.

I watched a lot of the Topgear episodes with Regis when I finally get back to State College. After I saw all of the foreign super-car eposodes, I managed to come across this particular eposode (thanks to Regis):

And.. I couldn’t help but wonder if I might have looked like a jackass in that Lambo. But moreso… What do people think of Americans after seeing videos like this (above)?